God is'nt this ironic, on this day last year i started this little blog of mine. Now it has come to pass that i am at a rather big juncton in my life right now. Actually, the reason i havent updated this in a long time is because of what has been going on in my head the past few weeks. I guess i should start at the beginning, if you think me decision is wrong then go ahead and leave a comment telling me why, im open to criticism, but i feel right now that this is the right thing to do for me right now

So, ive been working at Doctor Zavahir's office now for i think 4 weeks, (at this point im sure you know where this is going) Well i started out on it enjoying it, i was doing what i was trained for and i really thought that i was goona be happy. Well folks life had a bad habbit of kicking you in the face when you feel invincable. The past week or so the job seemd like it was getting full of holes, i wasent as happy, i was taking my anguish home with me every day, i was not who i normally am and i did'nt realize it untill i was told my my family. Then this past thursday the crap really hit the fan.

Im gonna spare you the detales cause it would make this long story even longer, but it went like this: I made a mistake at the doctors office. This mistake was cought by the doctor and was fixable and not an expensive mistake eather. However the doctor did not see it this way apparently. I admit, I was the one who screwed up, i was the one who made the mistake, but i do not this that i deserved to be called an idiot in front of a patient and then 2 more times in the back office within the next 10 minutes. Well this really put me in a bad way. I know i shouldnt let being called names bother me .

Well apparently that woke something up in me. After friday, which consisted of the usually belittlement by the Doctor, i came hone in a bad way. I didnt know where the hecki was or where i was going or even what i was thinking. I still dont know that at this point

Well after talking it over with alot of people and geting alot out on the open and alot off my chest i came to the following conslusions.

I'm gonna walk away from the Dr's office. Reasons being that it has made me more misrable than i have ever been in my life, causing me to be so freeking messed up that it was actually scaring my friends and family. That and my job is more of a glorafied medical secratary than an M.A. the pay is only 5.75 and for a job that is making so much go wrong in my mind i think its worth walking away from

Im goona stay at sheetz for now, i need to talk to some people bu t i think im gonna go back to school,,,possable PSU or something more traditional than CLN and get a degree. Im not sure for what though. Im gonna take some time and figure that out for myself. I really hope that i dont alianate myself from the rest of my fridns for going back to school while they are more than half way through it, but i think that this is best for me.

And whoever reads this,,,i would really like an honest to god opinion on what you think of what im doing,,,im taking all i can get right now

WWelcome to the post valentines day post of the silent scream. I must say that my V-Day probably sucked as much as possable. Got a phone call from my ex that got me more P.Oed than i have been in a LLLOONNNGG time. She now says that we didnt work out cause "I was busy and she was busy (trail off) and apparently it had nothing to do with her leaving the area. And for some reason she assured me that her and her boyfriend havent gone farther than me and her did yet. (yes she actually said yet). Find that quite hard to believe since they are living with each other.
And she told me that martin's fired her, and she told Kevin's son who she works with that she quit. Yet another in a long line of conflicting stories and half truths that kind of pock-mark this little story of Adam and Jenn

So the 46th had begun its new year, we sound really good and everyone seems to be in good spirits as usual. We are working one some neat songs that i think will go over well once we get the kinks out of them. Also we are going to put some songs into the mix that we havent played in a while. (buttermilk hill being my personal favorate)

Ive been on a Hammerfall kick lately, dunno why,,,,

I watched a show today about a bunch of ghost hunters going to the mishler and the altoona RR musium. Funny thing is that they got lost and for a brief moment you can actually see my house! WOOT for my home being on the Sci-Fi channel!

I need to transfer some of my stuff ive written at work into my litttle blue notebook. That or ill just staple it in there somewhere.

Icould have swore there was something else i was gonna say,,,but go figure,,,

Well it has been made clear to me that I should have no problem making most of my reenactment this summer. Apparently they really doe off may-augist,,,so looks like once again me being paranoid was just that. What's also good is that it looks like the next month or so im going to have something that resembles a regular schedule

ok,,,enough about the job, everyone's probably sick of it

Ive been kind of on a spree of writing stuff lately,,,some of it kinda stinks,,,there is a work-in-progress that I have that is coming along well,,,and I put one of the newer ones on the seldom updated Passing From Yesterday.

I have also fitted that one with a new look which is more fitting and resembles my little blue notebook which is home to most of my writings.

I am REALLY looking forward to this year's round of reenactment. This time last year was a real uncertain time for the 46th PA, and there was some doubt in my mind that it would continue. I gotta say that was one of the happiest phone calls in recent memory that I got on my answering machine telling me that the 46th was having its 1st meeting of the year after a month of inactivity. Of course as fate would have it I worked that day, but I made it a point to let everyone know I was still on board.

What is really cool to is one of my bosses at the office (the physician's assistant) is a history buff and goes to reenactment all the time, even seems to remember us at the world famous Old Bedford village. Needless to say that once we start talking about reenactment it pretty much makes the whole day go alot faster.

I got the new Edguy CD yesterday. Im not surprised that one song alone called "Save Me" was worth the price of the CD alone. I heard it once and went for a drive just so I could blast my stereo and jam a bit. Im also looking for the new Twilighting EP that came out, but thats gonna be kinda hard when they arnt that big in their native Finland let alone the US.

In some useless nostalgia-type news,,,we are 25 days removed from Adam's Silent Scream's first birthday! ill have to throw her a party,,,she has been good to me


I REALLY need a hair cut,,,my freeking bangs are falling into my eyes and its ANNOYING! Maybe I ill just buzz it again,,,(no,,,not really)

Thats all for now,,,more to come eventually