God is'nt this ironic, on this day last year i started this little blog of mine. Now it has come to pass that i am at a rather big juncton in my life right now. Actually, the reason i havent updated this in a long time is because of what has been going on in my head the past few weeks. I guess i should start at the beginning, if you think me decision is wrong then go ahead and leave a comment telling me why, im open to criticism, but i feel right now that this is the right thing to do for me right now

So, ive been working at Doctor Zavahir's office now for i think 4 weeks, (at this point im sure you know where this is going) Well i started out on it enjoying it, i was doing what i was trained for and i really thought that i was goona be happy. Well folks life had a bad habbit of kicking you in the face when you feel invincable. The past week or so the job seemd like it was getting full of holes, i wasent as happy, i was taking my anguish home with me every day, i was not who i normally am and i did'nt realize it untill i was told my my family. Then this past thursday the crap really hit the fan.

Im gonna spare you the detales cause it would make this long story even longer, but it went like this: I made a mistake at the doctors office. This mistake was cought by the doctor and was fixable and not an expensive mistake eather. However the doctor did not see it this way apparently. I admit, I was the one who screwed up, i was the one who made the mistake, but i do not this that i deserved to be called an idiot in front of a patient and then 2 more times in the back office within the next 10 minutes. Well this really put me in a bad way. I know i shouldnt let being called names bother me .

Well apparently that woke something up in me. After friday, which consisted of the usually belittlement by the Doctor, i came hone in a bad way. I didnt know where the hecki was or where i was going or even what i was thinking. I still dont know that at this point

Well after talking it over with alot of people and geting alot out on the open and alot off my chest i came to the following conslusions.

I'm gonna walk away from the Dr's office. Reasons being that it has made me more misrable than i have ever been in my life, causing me to be so freeking messed up that it was actually scaring my friends and family. That and my job is more of a glorafied medical secratary than an M.A. the pay is only 5.75 and for a job that is making so much go wrong in my mind i think its worth walking away from

Im goona stay at sheetz for now, i need to talk to some people bu t i think im gonna go back to school,,,possable PSU or something more traditional than CLN and get a degree. Im not sure for what though. Im gonna take some time and figure that out for myself. I really hope that i dont alianate myself from the rest of my fridns for going back to school while they are more than half way through it, but i think that this is best for me.

And whoever reads this,,,i would really like an honest to god opinion on what you think of what im doing,,,im taking all i can get right now